Its really sad when our young adults don't get enough attention these days where they have to resorting to cutting.
And then we see young teens expressing themselves through the way they dress.
I once was one of those teens that went through many stages of dress, from wanna be gang dress to punk rock, to stoner. I tried it all.
I know I have read some forums explaining that they go through these phases because they want to be heard. I guess I can relate to that a little bit. I know I never resorted to cutting though.
In any case though our teens need attention and why are we not listening?
Are we that absorbed in our work and our careers?
Us parents need to wake up and remember when we were young. And it was pretty bad back then. And I'm referring to my teen days like forty years ago.
I remember at school going into the girls bathroom and everyone in there was either trying to score some drugs or getting high in the bathroom.
And when I think what our children are up against now a days it scares me to death.
And let's not forget the divorce statistics are way more higher now than back in the day.
Where you see more single mothers raising children on their own. It's very hard I know. I was raised by my mother and she was in that same situation.
And believe me I put her through so much worry and sleepless nights and I didn't make her job any easier. I resented her for remarrying. I was very rebellious. I was a teen who thought they knew it all when really I made my whole life a living hell, and everyone else around me. I know for sure now that if my mother would of handled things different with me, the outcome would of been better. I don't throw any blame on her though, parents don't come with a children's manual and you do what you think is right at the time.
I know for a fact though there is a much better chance for children when they have both parents in a house hold, or in their life. As for my personal experience growing up, my father was hardly around I'm still not sure if it was due to my mother not allowing him to be in our lives or my father just too busy with his other life. All I knew was that I really needed my father and I suffered so because he just wasn't there. I felt abandoned and it followed me into womanhood. I had many failed relationships always looking for and needing that fatherly figure, that stability. And then not trusting any man worrying that they would leave also like my father. And of course my mother did have a great effect in that department she raised us thinking all men are never to be trusted.
But as for any child when they don't have that security of both parents, there is definitely problems going to rise. If they have no one to turn to they turn to their peers. And that's about as the blind leading the blind, a child cannot help another child especially when that child has not enough maturity in life to support or give mature advice to.
And that's where more problems occur like alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and then there's the issue on hand that's referred to cutting.
The first thing that came to mind when I thought about cutting was that movie called 13. That movie really blew me away. I was so shocked when I saw what those young girls were doing, and such an early age. I know I was no angel when I was young, but when I did start to engage in the wild side it wasn't until the later years of high school. I remember when I first entered my first year of middle school I felt like such a nerd noticing most of the girls wearing make up and I never had it on. And now today elementary school most girls look like they're in high school the way they dress, look and act.
Anyways as I was doing my own research about why teens revert to cutting it was really interesting to find out it's like the same as turning to alcohol or drugs. And also in the sense that they were depressed or felt like they were numb inside. Or even hurting inside, and needed some kind of release.
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"I had thoughts about suicide, but I wouldn't ever have attempted it. [Cutting] was just a way of doing something a lot less severe and a lot less permanent to express what I was feeling. I guess I didn't have any other way. It really scared me, because I was making myself bleed and it freaked me out. I felt that I just had so much pain inside me and so much I was going through that I felt like nobody could see, so I quantified it. That was what it was about for me, I think. It was like, 'This is how bad it is.'" Marlee, 21
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"Cutting was because I needed to get back into my life. You sink into this place where you can't think or feel, you don't know what you're doing. My brain, subconsciously, would tell me that's what I had to do to get out of the horrible hell I would snap into. Cutting yourself is pain and blood and living, and it's taking away the pain of being this empty person." Claire, 17
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When a person's pain or depression is very intense, they may become disconnected from their real self (known as a dissociative state) in order to protect themselves from their feelings. They feel so numb and lost that it's as if they are floating above the rest of the world or becoming part of the furniture or drifting away entirely. The physical pain of self-mutilation can snap them back into the real world.
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There is so much research that I am undergoing due to my writing of my book. Since my book focusses on teens. I'm becoming to realize how I really didn't have it all that bad growing up. My heart really goes out to all the many young ones out there who are in need of help or love.
And if you are a teen and just by chance happen to read my blog, please feel free to contact me if you need to talk. I will promise to help in any way I can.
